I didn't pass my thesis

I was hoping that this past fall '07 semester would be my last in college. The undergraduate BFA multimedia design program I'm in at the University of Colorado at Denver's requires seniors to create a thesis design project and write a short accompanying paper.

After moving to Colorado with some friends in 2000, taking a year and a half off to get in-state tuition, then only being able to afford to go back part time ever since, I've been anxious to finish school.

A couple years ago though, I got a job writing for Weblogs, Inc. at sites like TUAW and Download Squad, which led to my current position at Ars Technica. Since I was a kid I've had a sort of far-off pipe dream of writing some day. While I was never very good at writing the short stories or fiction that I always thought I would have to write to get anywhere, I am now combining two of my loves—writing and technology. It's literally a dream come true.

As you can imagine, this does nothing for my wish to just get done with school. After plodding along part time for so many years, the fact that I'm on track in a real career doing work that I absolutely love made me realize that I might not be a great designer. My heart hasn't been in design work for a while, and I haven't been keeping many of the skills I've learned sharpened very well either. I was a good designer for a while, and I can certainly brush up on my skills and get back into the work again. But I've been caring so much more about writing that the designer in me suffered.

All this led to me not treating this thesis project with the respect and devotion it deserves. Despite being truly interested in the topic I'm tackling in the thesis (a motivational motion graphics video covering the use of technology to stifle human rights), I treated the project last semester as one last annoying hurdle before getting out of school and on with my life as a writer, and perhaps a designer on the side or even a hobbyist. Something to "just get done with and out of the way." As a result, I obviously didn't put in the time the project needed, I procrastinated, I wasn't motivated to run down to campus when my adjunct professors were available, etc. Naturally, I have some gripes about the process and other matters outside of my control (but not someone else's), but now isn't the place for those things. The end result is still the same: I failed.

I'm going to try again this semester and this time I have to pass. I've been in school too long, I have too much ahead of me as a writer and perhaps even a designer, and too many family and friends are counting on me to finish, but finish well. I've worked out a tentative schedule with Ars for spring so writing and my project and peacefully coexist. I'll also need to cut back on a few personal luxuries and give my time management skills a kick-in-the-pants, but I'm getting my heart back into design and creating a project this semester that I am proud of and can pass with.

In my efforts to start writing more across all my personal sites, I will certainly try to blog my experience during the semester. Given how important this project is though, writing about it will certainly get knocked off the todo list anytime it's necessary. I can always recap when the project is done and the diploma is hanging on my wall.

Wish me luck. Here goes nothin'.